marilyn monroe.

today went positively well! i had a wonderfully great time; and well, so did the rest. 4eA was the most hyper people. haha. it was really good! the performance was a success! ((: but, i think i did screw up a little when i was laughing and talking to leslie, who was screaming extremely hilarious but stupid jargon. haha. but the thing is, i don't even know what i did wrong, or whether i did the steps or not. so yeah. but anyways, they said i did everything fine. so yeah. haha.

well, the marilyn monroe one... i'm not too sure bout that. and well, i stupidly forgot to bring my camera, so yeah, no photos. [sorry xuan. no embarassing photos today! haha.] after the make up and such, with the dress that makes me look pregs and the red lippy, i think i looked like someone just brought back from the dead! anyways, they said that it was really hard to hear what i was saying, so i don't know whether it's a good thing or not. well, the "catwalk" was fun enough, i'm just happy i didn't fall. well, some people, i.e. winda, said that everytime she saw me, she was scared. damn her. anyways, others said it was quite okay. well, it was really fun to be her and well, tonnes of compliments from people i don't know, so it should be a good thing...right? and yes, i know that the "catwalk" thing needed a lil help, but, hello? nervous; thankyouverymuch. and well, those random calls of "you're hot, she's hot!" did feed my somehow ever growing ego. haha.

so thanks, i guess. ((:

anyways, it was raining heavily when we were going off, and we had a mighty fun time there too, the only downside was that my ninewest heels are soggy and i have blisters on my feet. but, i had jacky piggy me on his back the whole way to the bus stop! haha. was really hilarious. haha. i think i was really heavy on his injured arm tho. haha. but, my aching feet thank you. so yeah.

thankyou thankyou thankyou jacky.

and broadwars was really amusing. ((:

anyways, i cut my hair yesterday! i don't know for the better or for the worse. haha. it seems like it's so much, so much shorter, and i miss my longer hair. plus, my fringe is kinda too short, bouncy-ish and and it goes all over the place. dang.

and i went running round singapore finding for that dress, plus the groceries and stuff and what not. so you guys better thank me. haha.

super tiring ya know! like a cherry on top, it was raining cats and dogs.

anyways, i also have to thank dewei for editing my script and curling my hair and "burning" your hands. haha. so thanks.

speaking of curling, i had to sit there seeing my hair being destroyed! my hair is like super damaged now. i can't even get some of the hairspray out of my hair!! so eww. haha.

okay. i think this post is going to be wierd.

and muhammud and mwen, your performances were good too. haha. ((:

xoxo.

too wrong.

she has nothing to say thus far.

-

well, had quite a bit of fun today after chinese prelims, which was a total killer by the way. didn't understand a single thing. so, i played innie minnie mynnie moe, and chose whichever that i deemed nice looking. HAHA.

anyways, we went to katong shopping centre for chicken rice and well, we had fun at the bus stop. rehersal today was fun. tho a lil heavy at some points. d.tay locked himself in the store, and actually rammed his way out and broke a lil of the door, cause he couldn't unlock it. absolutely hilarious. natalin, fel, licia, ah hui and i really had a great time, jumping around, playing butt-ies. really fun.

you know what? maz and i won 50 dollars each for doing that dress up as your idol thing. HAHA. i know you all wish you guys could join now right? HAHA. hmm, but the bomb shell is that only three people are walking down the "runway" and well, i fear that i will trip and fall and break my ninewest heels. i think i will do shots before proceeding. anyone care to join me?

well, mazwinwin, it's bitch walk time. ((:

i still feel extremely uncomfy in that itchy orange jersey. tonnes of people sang their praises of our class jersey, as you know it. but you know what, deep down they are gleeful as they know that their class tshirt is better than ours.

love; love.

whatever it takes.

"you needn't answer." she said calmly. " cause i already know your answer."

and she stomped off with a heavy heart.

betrayed.

who does he think she is some five year old kid? please. she knows when he's lying to her. talking things behind her back

"oh! i can't see, you're too tall!"

dumbarse.

she's not five, she can handle the truth.

it's better than making up such a weak lie with no structure; which can be so easily be uncovered. in a nanosecond. thankyouverymuch.

well, he's gonna have his wake up call real soon.

-

well, today's english paper was harder than expected. i hope i did alright. what on earth is nefarious anyways? goodness.

went to parkway after that.

somewhat wierd.

then off home.

i've got nothing much i wanna say anyways.

so bye.

i know it's a lil boring with no pictures.

but, bear with it. teachers' day is coming.

tonnes of photos then.

it's impossible.

"what have i done to deserve this?" she wondered.

every moment, everyday.

esperated.

desperation ringing in her ears.

-

went looking for that darn costume. it's gonna burn a hole in my pocket if i rented, so i decided to sew it, with my mother. cause i'm just hopeless when it comes to needles and thread. so yeah.

so went to arab streat to get materials.

and, you know what? i know nothing about sewing.

i don't know how to sew.

well, manda, it's time to get creative.

hopelessly wronged.

it's either her or me.

take your pick.

-

well, today's audition was a success, and we had raving complements! ((:

it was fun. hmm, but now i'm wondering how to run up and down with stockings and three and a half inch stilletos? well, hope that nothing goes wrong! haha.

well, renting a costume, is gonna be expensive. gosh! i don't know about it. but i didn't know that there were so many costume shops in singapore. who knew?

anyways, we'll be dancing in our class jersey. but did i mention that the class jersey is just hopelessly wrong too? haha. dull orange and black. goodness! what am i going to wear it with? jeans they say. it's gonna look bad!

i heard that 4eC's t-shirt is also orange, and that they were supposed to do a dance too.. from high school musical. coincidence? well, i'll leave that to you.

anyways, i have to go.

bye!

get real.

she doesn't know how much of this abuse she could take any longer. it's making her change. so much.

she feels used. and seem that she can't do nothing about it. it's like she doesn't know how to explain it. she hates this. it seems so foreign. she doesn't know whether to fight or flight anymore. she feels invisible. if that's possible at all. just like a wall flower. she doesn't know whether she should settle it or not.

she doesn't know.

should she or should she not?

-

well, today's physics practical, was much better than i thought it would be. until i realised that i labelled the axes wrongly! dang man! gosh. well, at least it was better that biology, with that dropper thingy which took me about one hour and five minutes! leaving only half of one question done. can you believe it?

hmm, nothing much happened today. well, i'm still not awake. why can't i wake up, i have no idea. i really want to, yet i can't. or is it just me not bringing myself to? i don't know.

i need another wake up call.

relentless.

"i thought you were over him?" i questioned her. just couldn't believe it.

well, what can i say? impossibility had this thing about jumping out on us when we least expected it.

she thought so too. she thought she was. but why was she thinking of him now, looking for him in crowds? could things have gone another way, and not end up like this?

well, being such an elitist, i had to reprimand her.

"i thought i had already gone through with this! he is so less worthy. fat, ugly, "rich", so on and so forth.. you shouldn't get screwed over by someone like him!!!"

oh good god!

"let us pray.." i exclaimed, rolling my eyes.

this was crazy. has the world gone topsy turvy? what could she see in a guy like that? and pass up those other guys? gorgeousness, luxuriousness? i didn't know. he used her, made a fool out of her. what's wrong with her? and now, after those lonnngggg months, she yearns for him now? she did so much for him too. and he used her in the end. wth. i didn't understand at all. she was just like me. an elitist too. so why? there were so many others out there. i just didn't understand why she wanted to put herself through hell all over again.

-

well, we are going to have a masquerade ball for prom!! haha. at goodwood park hotel [i think that's how it's spelt at least.] on the twentysecond of november. i think. well, i have no idea where it is, except that it is at scotts road. so yeah. tickets at seventy bucks. we have to wear masks and all that.

and yeah! since my o's end on the sixteenth, i can go to the robbie williams concert on the eighteenth with my uncle! yays! haha.

loves it! ((:

hmm, i still have to rent that dress. anyone knows any costume shops? please tell me! thanks! ((:

today was crazy. and fun. had so much fun being retarded with caleen, natalin, huiling, steven and alicia at parkway today. we went bonkers. again. haha. wuli wuli ah ah! hahahahaha. crazy.

nothing more;

bye!

she says it's too hard. she just didn't wanna spoil that somewhat semi-perfect afternoon they had together. she changed when she was with the other persons. and she didn't want to ruin that standard of normalcy she had with her.

she remembered being needy. so ever needy.

"don't leave me!" she said. "don't go!"

i helplessly watched. she was not like that. never. she doesn't remember being so needy. ever. so why now? show her weakness to someone less worthy? why? why does the world play tricks on her? why?

never again; she swore. never again will she beg. never again so needy. she was the strong one. she had to remember that. she IS the strong one. she HAD to be strong. she just had to be.

it hangs in the balance. one small mistake could just tip it over.

-

well, had fun today. i guess. if you count being sweaty and sticky. eww.

i really need to start studying. but well, it's all just words ain't it? if there's no action, what good would it be? it's worth nothing.

i need help. today was crazy. real crazy. unexplainability. enigma. i really couldn't think properly. it's like i was not even myself. but, i saw myself. like i was above, looking at me. madness and all. yet, i couldn't stop it. i think i can sense that i'm going to crash and burn real soon. i can sense it.

i play with words in my head. i love words. they're beautiful, glorious. something so simple can be made into something so wonderfully complex. it's like liquid flowing. even tho i'm not really thinking of it, it just flows. i can sense them staring at me wierdly, while i escape into my world. even with their loud chatter, hiding the fears, their scars, their weaknesses, i still manage to escape, their nonsensical jargon and them trying to compete for attention. i gave up long ago. i decided to sink into the background. i rather be that.

anyways, speaking of nonsensical. think of benjamin. gosh. how was he fighting that losing battle. he made absolutely no sense at all. really. think before you speak. the stupidness unsaid.

wileen went absolutely bonkers today. thinking about it still makes me laugh. the desperateness of it all. then when i think about me now. i think how stupid i was too. how crazy. with the ruler and all. i don't know what got into me today. forgive me.

late today. first time in weeks. my fault for missing the bus. my fault for forgetting about the physics test today, which i'm like so totally going to like fail; well, i guess, if i need someone to blame, there's always me.

wileen, wileen, good luck with that problem of yours. haha. i will remember today. the crappyness of it all. after recess, trying to sneak back into class after that long toilet break, only to find that the classes were still lined up in the quad. i remember the crawling, the rolling, the rough hugs, that almost flattened my nose; thankyouverymuch. i remember that stupid song, i remember the infections, i remember that sour sweetness, i remember being down, i remember being hyper, i will remember it all. it was fun while it lasted. i wish it would be all like that.

what else is there to write for today?

well, somethings should just be kept till later.

manda.

well, i really needed it. i did. so thanks. ((:

-

well, yesterday, hearing what adrian said, before and after my aunty was trying to act all cool and stuff, really got me thinking. well, it made me wanna sign up for SMU! so yeah.. it spoke quite a lot. and it grew my interest in travelling. especially to canada. heard great stories. laughed a whole lot. i really had a great time. with uncle leonard and aunty audra, adrian, marcoose and the kids. i mean, in midst of all the smoke and the alcohol, we really spoke. but, i just can't wait to see the world. on some exchange programme or something, just like he did. well, it's something, talking to him. captivating in fact. it opened me up to new ideas and stuff. so it's all good! just can't wait! who new the mexicans were so fun?

well, i began reading white orleader. real good book. really like liquid peotry. it's a page turner, i couldn't put the book down at all. it feeds the imagination. and, i love the play of words. the artistic-ness to it all. it broadens one's horizon. really.

anyways, got a new dress from kookai! haha. and, the best part of it all, was that i didn't pay a single cent, so yeah! i'm contented. for now at least. ((:

hm, we celebrated marcus' birthday today. well, he didn't arrive till nine. can you believe that? he was busy serving the country. haha. well, i sorta had a great time. great laughs, hilarious stories...

substance.

to sum it all in one word.

well, i can't wait to jump into the bandwagon.

more later.
he wants to use the computer.

god! what's wrong with me?

and should i actually go and talk things out?

well, i have no idea. i really need help. some guidance perhaps?

-le sigh.

anyways, really wanna get these cds:

back to basics by christina aguilera - well, she really cleaned up her act!

loose by nelly furtado - really love her new grooves.

rihanna's latest cd, not sure the title tho..

some jazz cds, not really sure bout the titles again. hm, i have to check them out.

well, is anyone getting any or all for me? HAHA. ((:

be nice! haha.

okay, i really feel like i'm talking to myself, as retarded as that sounds.

and then, i remember what that idiot bitch xuan said. hilarious.

okay, totally random.

i think i'm gonna spend some quality time with my sister tomorrow!! gonna catch the break up and get my brother a birthday present. oh yeah, and, i'm supposedly planning his party! haha. great! it's gonna be a sham. haha.

xoxo.

well, dance practice was killer today. caleen got so emotional...

okay, well, enough of that. you know what, for be yourself day, i will be coming as MARILYN MONROE. blonde wig, red lips and all! okay, i'm not really sure bout the wig tho. it's like dark brows with a blonde hairdo?

EWW!!

but, on the other hand, being blonde gives me a reason to be dumb, right? HAHA.

anyways, how whacked out is that? well, it's much better than pamela anderson. [thanks fathi and douglas] i swear, those two are just super horny.

anyways, photo time! ((:

randoms at nad's party.

cool ain't it?


yummy moules!!


the birthday girl and i.


and the godmother.




having tonnes of fun! ((:










ain't she just the cutest thang you ever saw?

my lil' god sis.


just for kicks. and just so you know, he was covering his privates. you have to admit, it was absolutely hilarious. and cute! ((:

i'm getting fearful. my sister has been weight obsessed. god! it's really scaring me! with stuff like. "when in kc, you have to care bout your weight" and she hasn't been eating - that much, like refusal.. ya know the kind..

anyways, i'm off.

tatas.

well, i had the craziest dream ever, which when i actually thought about it long enough, somehow made me question myself. am i that much of a tease? well, i don't think so; cause whatever i say i will do, i do it, somehow or someway. but, it made me ask, am i that much of a player? well, i hope not? haha. i mean, really, the dream was not really terrible, but it made feel somehow guilty. should i even feel guilty in the first place?

well, today, it was fun. while walking home today with caleen and maz, we were absolutely bonkers! singing and dancing!! HAHA. i think those people must think that we were crazy! HAHA. but who cares as long as we are having fun?

anyways, we must really dress up for that day alright? remember: going out with a bang! ((:

well, you know, what's not meant to be, is not meant to be alright? and, no, you are not a fool nor are you mean for doing those things. just do it before it's too late! remember, quick and painless!

okay, i feel like sucha a bitch.

another bitchy day for me today filled with the finest sarcasm. and i know what some of you might be thinking. but that is so not true okay! i'm not always a bitch! i'm nice!!

I AM ALRIGHT.

anyways, i really don't know how the conversation lead to those topics? hmm.. but, it was interesting none the less.

steven = tiny weeny.

HAHA. ((:

okay. enough of that.

but you know what? i really can't stand those people. well, quite a number of types... but okay; today we shall settle the first one:

those people looking staring at stuff [you should know what i'm refering to] that the shouldn't.

well, i can't stand it!! seriously! i mean, i feel extremely violated! i'm sure the rest of you feel the same way too. i mean, it's like not only those old men, i mean, those who are like holding hands with their partners and still looking. the worst is, i'm not even doing anything! i'm not even posing suggestively, and worse,

I'M IN MY BLOODY SCHOOL UNIFORM!!

wth.

i mean, you guys out there are just perverse.

gosh.

so please,

stop looking.
plus, i think i'm still underaged.
well, maybe no. i'm already sixteen.
but still....

it's like eww!

okay, i have no idea what's with today, but i was seriously bimbotic.

anyways, the photos! ((:

the binging and purging with xuan that friday. had a fantastic time. that is till the getting sick part. and the pigging out part...

loves it!


us.


buck toothed.


peace yo!


close ups.






digging for gold.


lastly, the purging.


the greatest news, for a long time. freda's coming back again!! ((:

yays!

xoxo.

OMG!

she actually came back today for english oral.

and muhd was such a major bitch.

well, she seemed super happy. real happy i mean. it's absolutely great! i mean, i missed her, and somehow coincidentally i was thinking bout her when i was bored and watching a re-run of lightyears (yes, really.) you know there's this girl who looks somewhat like her....

anyways, back to the main point. i was super excited to see her. and, like usual, i slapped me on my arm. what's up with indo people and hitting people? -okay. anyways, surprised to hear that she's actually working --teaching. which is kinda cool and all, but i kinda do pity those lil kids under her. haha. hmm, well, we managed to talk for some time -miss chua put us all at different places and kept glaring at us, but whatever- before i was whisked off for my oral.

which i was a complete goofball. seriously. it's like, real bad. but i guess i managed to do good. well, i don't know whether it was a good thing, but the examiners kept laughing. i don't know whether at me or with me, but whatev. and, right at the end, the guy teacher told me: "god bless." well, i don't know how to take that. either he wishes me to pray hard cause i did badly OR he was just wishing me. well, i'm putting my hopes on the latter; of course. and, i got the supposedly nice teachers from cch and tkss, so i should be safe... right?

and, i got my chinese o's results today. well, i'm just glad i passed my oral, for those who know, i AM very lucky just to pass, cause i was such a blundering idiot. and, i am going to retake. that's for sure.

anyways, you guys should go catch click. it's real good. tokyo drift ain't half bad too. and, why must that han guy die! i really didn't want him to die damnit!

ooo, i wanna watch my super ex-girlfriend, the devil wears prada, the breakup and so much more!

ooo, i wanna watch the fireworks show tomorrow! hopefully my mother would allow me to go.

fingers crossed*

okay, totally random, i know. ((:

photos next time.

hmm, another random thing: this year's ndp celebration in school was the most united and maybe most fun ever. i mean, it's the last year right? let's go out with a bang! ((:

manda.

okay, sorry for the totally bimbotic post.

it has been such a horrible past few days.
get this:
i fell ill on the day i skipped school. how whacked out is that?
the whole of saturday, instead of having my day of fun filled activities, what was i stuck with? well, imagine this. having a high fever, you can't eat anything much, except for soft foods like porridge and everytime you cough, your head hurts. and, what's the worse, is that i keep feeling hot and cold. it's like. when i feel cold, i wrap myself in my toasty lil blacket, five minutes later, i feel super hot, like my fingers and feet are under boiling water, then, five minutes after i literally unwrap myself, i feel cold once again. can imagine the absolute torture i went through? not only that. i some how cannot find a comfy position to snooze. but, due to the medication, i just nod off, and i don't even know that i fell asleep. speaking of the worst, i think is waking up sweaty and all, and you are not allowed to wash your hair! WTH. i was like ewwww.. you can imagine? plus with such long hair! i wish to chop it all off i tell you!.
okay, enough of my irratical rantings.

today, we celebrated miss chua's birthday. and, what a mess it was. simple equation below.

mazuindah + choclate frosting = huge mess + mayhem.

get this. instead of practicing our dance, we celebrated miss chua's birthday-early. and, from the bloody candles, i got my fingers bloody burnt! okay, apart from that, mazuindah as her usual self, started smearing chocolate all over people's faces, arms, clothes, etc. well, aptly put, by the time everything was done, the whole hall was messed up and we, those people again, including me, was covered with chocolate, by the time i cleaned myself up, i was a big mess, smelling of eau de chocolette. and, i could actually pass off as a soft-core pornstar in the school girl outfit. with my wet blouse and coloured bra. asnd i was shivering damnit, when i came out of the restroom. anyways, the epitome of it all, is that, i was the one who started the who miss chua thing!! HAHHAHAAHAHAH! i even permantly stained her lil' pink top that she loves so much. hmn, maybe by ruining it, i'm doiing her a favour instead. ((:

anyways, we had to clean up the place, with itsy bitsy tissues. so not fun at all.

on a sidenote, i can't wait for the hills to air! i know, it's a real bibotic show, but it's nice! like laguna beach. i tell you, i was hooked! anywas, speaking of laguna beach, remember that retarded video? well, here it is! enjoy.


if this does not show up, you can visit :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgW5M08GQ8c

xoxo.

didn't go school today. didn't feel like it.

hmn,
i tell you.
so much shit has been happening. words can't express how much.
anyways, if i stepped on your tippy toes this past week, forgive me.
you just have no idea what i'm//i've been going through.
so sorry.

too lazy to upload pictures today. so another time yeah? ((:

anyways, here is this video which is so dang retarded that it's hilarious.

damn, you tube is currently down. video later then.

can't wait for sakae sushi later with xuan!! ((: